An Apple a Day Does NOT Keep the Embarrassment at Bay

I had a job this summer with a corporate wellness firm in Columbus, OH where, all things considered, most days went really quite well.

There was one incident the first day I started though that I will not soon forget..

I will try to make a long story short here:

Right when you walk in there is this big bowl filled with green apples which I thought was clever because they are a wellness firm and so what better business tactic than to promote health from the second someone walks in the door, right?

I made some comment about them and one of the ladies (Amy) said, "Oh I know don't they look delicious? If I hadn't had such a big breakfast I would snag me one!"

They certainly did look appetizing, but I too had had a big breakfast and was not hungry.

I went about my business, showing various clients to the appropriate rooms when they would come, getting coffee, etc.

Then it happened. THE INCIDENT....

One of our biggest clients was coming to visit to hear some of the new health insurance proposals and my boss had given me explicit instruction to "make him feel right at home" while he was waiting.

So in he comes.

I greet him.

I offer him coffee.

I offer him a seat.

He takes the seat right next to the apple bowl.

Knowing I am supposed to make him feel at home, I say, "Sir please feel free to have an apple while you wait if you would like".

He looks pleased at the offer.

He extends his hand.

He grabs an apple, dusts if off on his [expensive] trouser pants, and is about to take a giant bite when my boss walks out of his office and anxiously cries, "Mr. Kerpline, STOP!!!"

The whole office is startled and comes over to the area.

Turns out it was a plastic apple!!!

There was apparently some humor miscommunication between Amy and I in the morning because I thought she was dead serious about eating one if she hadnt been so full and they looked so real it never occured to me that she was JOKING.

Clearly, I learned a valuable lesson here: when in doubt - assume they are plastic.

This could have been avoided if I had taken a better assessment of the situation from the get-go, but alas..